It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
