no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
