waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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