is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
