Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
