Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
