he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
