Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
