Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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