idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You pole danced in your parka.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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