And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
