Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize