Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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