Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
