why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
