State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
