He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
