i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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