your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize