im gay
i know
yea but for you.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
