Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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