I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just cropdusted the office
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
