just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
