when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
