I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
