im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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