they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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