im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
