Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
