So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
