i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
