So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
