I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
