would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
