New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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