i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
