another moral hangover. fuck.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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