birth control should be required to get into college
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
