Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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