And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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