i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
