trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
