I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
