Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
