On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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