Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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