we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
