i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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