i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
