bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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