dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
