Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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