Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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