look no pants
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Randomize
