And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
