Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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