I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
