did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
