11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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