Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
