Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
