i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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