Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
