She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
