You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize