i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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