So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
