did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
