at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
