First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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