Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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