please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
