in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize