Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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