nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
