best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
