so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Say something about gay babies.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
