Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Found the puke drawer
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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